10.27.2004
- We lay on the floor in the middle of a nest of pillows and blankets in front of the TV, playing Playstation 2 games. It's very interesting how many different ways you can find to flirt with someone using only an electronic car. Eventually, through wins and losses, we ended up draped over each other, a tangle of arms and legs. I tried not to get too distracted by it, but it was so hard to press buttons on a little controller when all you can think about is how warm her hip is where it presses against your side, how soft her hair is where it falls across your shoulder, how smooth her skin is where it touches yours. Suddenly, she hit pause, and looked up at me. I looked down, surprised, just in time to catch her lips on mine.
I froze, a tangle of feelings and thoughts. I had waited so long for this moment, agonized over exactly how it would happen, and now that it was happening, my mind was blank. My lips moved on auto pilot until she brought her hand up to thread her fingers through my hair. I moaned softly and sank down into the pillows as her tongue flicked over my bottom lip, demanding entrance. I couldn't deny her, especially not when she grabbed my lip in her teeth and nibbled softly. I brought my hands up her arms and up over her shoulders, pulling her closer. She slowly crawled on top of me, her perfect breasts pressed against mine, long legs straddling me. I held her head, and slowly kissed down her soft neck, pausing to nip softly at her collar bone, then up again to capture her earlobe between my teeth.
Suddenly she giggled, and pulled away gently. I froze again, assuming I'd done something wrong, flaming red with embarrassment. "No, no," she whispered "I don't want to stop, I was just remembering how long it took me to build up the nerve to do this...I never thought you would..." She trailed off uncertainly.
I looked at her in surprise. "What? I can't believe that." I kissed her firmly, then rolled us both over, pushing her into the softness of the pillows as I slowly stroked her breasts through her shirt, kissing her neck all the while. She pushed against my hands and murmured "please, please" over and over again. I smiled at her before I slowly raised her shirt up to reveal her beautiful A-cups, tipped with small dark pink nipples. Her chest was flushed with excitement, or embarrassment, but it just made the moment more wonderful.
"Don't look at me like that." She said, suddenly. I jumped, confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Like I'm so perfect. I know they're too small."
I laughed, I couldn't help it. Leaning forward to take one hard nipple between my lips, I flicked my tongue over it while I cupped her other breast in my hand. "You can't really believe that, can you?"
Her hand crept up my arm, to the back of my neck, holding my head to her chest. I smiled and rolled her nipple between my fingers while I continued softly flicking the other with my tongue.
"I want to see yours" I looked up at her, surprised, but happy. I sat up to take off my shirt and bra, feeling a flush of excitement at the look of lust on her face. I never thought I would see her look at me like that. Wonderful. She pushed me back a bit so that she could sit up and cup my breasts. Touching the steel barbells through my nipples, she asked "Did that feel good?"
I laughed again, and pushed her back to kiss her deeply, pinching her nipples a bit now, reveling in the feel of her body pushing against mine, begging for more. "Yes," I growled softly "It felt very good"
I slowly got rougher with her breasts, using my teeth, lips, tongue and hands until she was moaning loudly and bucking wildly beneath me. Then, in a rush, her begging and writhing changed, she started pushing her pelvis against me. I eagerly took advantage of this, kissing down her flat belly to her waist, then slowly pulling down her pants. She helped, then laid back, legs tightly clamped close, shyness momentarily overcoming lust.
I stroked her legs, softly, kissing her belly and hips and thighs, all over, avoiding the area she was obviously shy about. After a minute or so, she slowly relaxed again, bringing her hand up to cup my face, and guide it to the closely trimmed area between her legs. I resisted, leaning down to kiss between her thighs, down to her knees, then back up and down the other leg. Soon she was begging just as strenuously as before, finally tangling her fingers in my hair to guide me where she wanted me.
As I stared at her, all soft and wet and hot in front of me, I blew softly, enjoying the little buck of pleasure. I kissed her softly, all over, flicking my tongue out occasionally to taste her sweetness, always avoiding her clit, dipping my tongue just inside her pussy to make her squirm even more. I had to lean back a second later when I realized she was so wet she was dripping down over her asshole. I never knew a girl could get that wet. I ran my finger up that trail of moisture to its source, slowly sliding one finger inside her, wiggling it around a bit until I found the spot that made her push against me the hardest. Once I had memorized how it felt, I sucked her clit into my mouth. She cried out at the suddenness, bucking hard against me. I kept ahold of her, sliding another finger in between wild clenches of her muscles, moving them slowly, trying to keep a steady tempo between my tongue and fingers.
Then, everything fell into place, her hips matched the smooth thrusts of my hand. I sped up, a little bit at a time, feeling her whole body getting tighter and listening to her moaning and begging change into a louder, less coherent train of "oh my god"s and "oh please"s.
"Oh god, Don't stop, I'm gonna cum!" she screamed. I used my free hand to pull her closer to me, and slid in a third finger, keeping my rhythm as she suddenly stiffened, her whole body becoming hard and tight. I heard her keening, like a scream off in the distance, then as her orgasm broke over, she gave up and screamed out loud. I kept licking her clit and slowly fingerfucking her until she spasmed away from me and rolled over, begging "no more, no more".
I couldn't keep the satisfied grin off my face and I climbed up to lay beside her. When she rolled over again to cuddle against me, it just made my smile even bigger. Not often a girl gets to live her fantasy.
- As I sat outside the classroom, only minutes before class began, I spotted her. I sat there, mesmerized in the middle of putting on lip gloss, finger to my lips. She looked at me, giggled, and stuck her finger beside her nose, miming picking it and flinging it at me. I couldn't help laughing. Silly girl.
Soon, their class let out, and we all trooped in to stretch while the teacher took her break. I sat down, and in minutes my dancer had joined a small group of people that were near me. Talk turned to boyfriends, and how old was too old, then to cowboys. I found out that her boyfriend is a rodeo rider. Fun! We spent the next few minutes talking about cowboys we had dated, and how much of our "cowgirl" clothes we still had. We had both grown up around the country line dance scene, and still backslid ocassionally. Hm...I couldn't help but imagine her in those nice tight wranglers...mmmmmmmmm
Later, as we were attempting to pay attention, she and a friend of ours were talking about going out next week to a bar. Suddenly she turned to me (I didn't say anything, I swear) and said "Hey, you should come! You can ride with me!". I agreed, of course, instantly, never stopping to ask when, or where, or how much. Would you? I learned later it was to be a wednesday night out. Thank god for quitting this job...they've been screwing me around so much, that it only took a minutes worth of sweet talking before my boss agreed to let me come in late on Thursday. SCORE!
Finally, class got out and we all stood around, struggling to get dressed before the next class took over. When I was ready, I yelled bye to everyone, and she yelled back "Wait, I'll walk with you!" She didn't ask where I was going...just I'll walk with you. MELT!!! So, I walked almost all the way to her car (of course, I was parked about as far away from her car as it is possible to be...but would you mention that? I didn't think so).
So, long story short, I'm going out with her and another girl in our class...one who is facinated by my boobs and just loves being loud....should be a GREAT time, I can't wait!
Needless to say, the job situtation isn't any better, worse, actually, but I can't find it in my heart to get upset right now...I'm too busy surveying my realm from up here on cloud 10. Oh, and yes, the man knows...he thinks it's cute.
- So close, yet so far away. My company hired my replacement. She started on Monday, so I started showing her the ropes. Later on, my boss came in and told me that I "can't train her, it's against company policy to let you train your replacement." What kind of bull is that? How is she supposed to know what to do if I don't tell her? Magic?
Anyway, he hemmed and hawed when I asked about my last day, so I didn't push it. Today, however, was a different story. First of all...I walk in the morning, and my desk is a mess. She stayed later than I did last night (I left early) and in the time that I was gone, she managed to completely re-arrange my desk. Mine! It isn't hers until I leave, god bless it! GR! So, I spent 10 minutes fixing it. Got it done just in time for her to walk in. And wow, does she walk in. She's an older lady, a mother of 7 (!) and wow, does that lady not understand the meaning of SHUT UP!!! She talks so incessantly that I never have a chance to train her; I can't get a word in edgewise! THEN she has the nerve to bitch that I'm not training her enough. HELLO! I'm not even supposed to be "training" you, you're supposed to sit your happy ass down, shut your happy ass up, and WATCH!!!
Today, again, when I came back from lunch, she had not done one thing I asked her to do, and had completely re-arranged my desk again. TOO MUCH!!! For the first time since I started at this company, I was pushy with my boss. My job has always been VERY laid back, no tempers, no pushiness, no hurry, nothing. Now, this BLEEP comes in and tries to boss me around at my own job! SCREW THAT!
Oh, yes, I found out how she's supposed to learn my job. After I'm gone, a man from our corporate office is going to come in and train her. Hm. Let's see. When I started, my predecessor trained me, this man came down, said "Yeah, good enough." and flew back. He calls me on a regular basis to ask ME what exactly I'm doing, which is always funny because usually it's not even me doing it....and this moron is supposed to be training the imbecile they found to replace me? HA! Oh well...as everyone keeps pointing out to me...it's not my problem after I'm gone....BURN, BABY!!! BURN!!!
Okay...sorry about this...just had to vent somewhere.
On the brighter side, I will be out soon. I don't have a new job yet (haven't been looking too awful hard, bad me!) but I do have a few prospects to investigate tomorrow. Well...maybe. :)
In my never ending quest to find out exactly how much pain I can tolerate, this seemed to be the best next step. It isn't finished, and I will post a pic of the finished product as soon as it is.
- I was early to dance class today, so I sat outside the door with a few other girls that were also early, and watched the previous class. Of course, my dancer girl was in it, and even better, was standing right by the door. Oh, heaven! I made an attempt at doing other things, talking to my friends in the hall, helping one with our dance, admiring another's pictures from a recent birthday, but couldn't help watching her, so happy when she looked out the door, caught my eye, and smiled at me. As the class went on, she looked at me more often, usually making faces about how silly the teacher was, or rolling her eyes when she messed up. Every glance sent butterflies skittering down my spine as I laughed with her. When their class finally got out, it was a few minutes of chaos; people got dressed and packed up while others took off outer clothing and settled in. As I sat down to stretch, she appeared, sitting near me to talk about random things. I can't remember a bit of them, I was too busy admiring her big brown eyes, long eyelashes, perfect dark ponytail, loooong legs. MMMMmmmmmmmmm.
Class started, and of course, I stole the spot behind her. I tried to concentrate, but she made it so hard, goofing off, always the perfect angel when the teacher looked over, but wiggling her butt and bouncing around the rest of the time. Even worse, she was wearing a halter top leotard, baring her lusciously creamy skin almost down to her waist, and a teeny tiny pair of short shorts. How could anyone concentrate with that in front of them?
After about 10 minutes, half the class was lip synching to the music and dancing around unabashedly, while the teacher sat down and laughed at us.
Just when order was finally restored, she leaned over in front of me, and pulled her already short shorts up as high as they could go, supposedly to show me that her tights were on the outside of her leotard, instead of the inside. I admired the view, and pretended to get lost in it, asking innocently what I supposed to be looking for after staring for a few moments. We both giggled at it, but I can't help but wondering...
All through class, she continued messing around in front of me, turning around to talk to me, coming back to touch my arm more than once, showing off again and again. I can't help but wonder what's going on. I've watched her since I first saw her, simply because she was the best dancer in the class, and the prettiest by far, but I never noticed her touching anyone so much, or for that matter, talking to anyone so much. I can't help but think I'm imagining it, every girl with a crush reads too deeply into every movement that their crush makes...I know, I know. I'm being silly, but still....it can't hurt to fantasize, can it?
- Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. My new life. Tomorrow, I'm giving my notice at my job. I'm terrified to do this, especially without a new job to fall back on. Unfortunately, I will need to work at my old job until they find a replacement for me to train. So, it will be about a month before I'm really truly out of it, but still, just saying the words is terrifying. I can't imagine what kind of job I'll go to next. The odd hours are going to make it very difficult to find any job, much less one that pays what I need. I'd really like to find one closer to home, though, the 45 minute commute is getting harder and harder, especially when I am beginning it at midnight or after every night, only to get up at 6am to start it all over again. I'm so tired, sick and tired, tired of being sick, sick of being tired. I'm sick of never seeing my man, my friends, my family, sick of coming home in the dark, and leaving in the dark. I wish I could find a job I could do at home, something I could do on the computer or something, so I could do it whenever I wanted. Somehow, I think that is a fantasy land, though, one far far away from here. I know this is for the best, and I will be happier, but I can't help but be terrified at the prospect of not finding a job, especially since I can't start looking now, I can't have a back up plan.
Oh well. If you read this, and have a spare moment, please send me happy thoughts, or prayers, or whichever serve you best. I appreciate any help I can get.
- I clapped and cheered as she turned graceful pirouettes in front of me. When she finally stopped, flushed, to bow and blow me kisses, I laughed along with her. All too soon, she turned away to speak with someone else. A few minutes later, she turned to me again, to despair over a too tight leotard. I offered to fix it, with a wink and a leer, and she giggled again, as did I. Over and over, every few minutes, her gaze would catch mine, as she turned and caught me staring admiringly at her smooth creamy skin, her dark ponytail bobbing so perfectly, her long, graceful legs always so perfect. I had always watched her, who wouldn't? She was clearly the best, the most beautiful, most graceful, teacher's pet without ever encouraging it, most loved in the class. Today, however, I had come to a startling conclusion, after a rare and accidental glimpse of skin.
I have a crush on her. It has been so long since I've felt a "crush" that I almost didn't recognize it. The quickening of the heart, the flush, the sweaty palms, the tongue tied-ness. All things I had thought left far far behind....now rearing up again in my life. I have never had a crush on a girl, always having more of a friendly lust with my female lovers, lust was easy enough to take care of, always leaving as friends, nothing more ever, nothing like the emotional bond I always felt with my male lovers. Now, for the first time, I am feeling it for a girl, a gorgeous, tall, beautiful woman, not girl. Even writing this makes me nervous, I can't believe that one quirky little dancer can do this to me, make me feel clumsy, ashamed, all that comes with a crush. I never thought about it before, never noticed the flirting that has been present since day one, I always flirt with everyone, it's unconscious, my way of getting around paralyzing shyness. I never noticed her flirting back, assuming it was a similar way of hiding...now every move, every smile, every wiggle and wink take on huge meaning. What am I to do?
- I walked in the rain today. I was too hot from dancing, and it felt so good to cool off. After a while, I didn't even notice it, though...there was too much else to be seen. The perfect blonde, trying to run in her high heeled flip flops with her cell phone pressed tightly to her ear...the glowering man with his hood up and books pressed firmly to his chest, pounding angrily along, as if insulted that the rain could touch him...the smiling girl, calm and collected under her umbrella, also giggling at the blonde as her perfectly shaped derriere hit the slick cobblestones with a resounding ~SMACK~...the old janitor, shambling along, not even noticing the cold droplets covering him and broom...and me, clothes plastered to my body by the chilly wind, hair sopping wet and dripping in my eyes, face up, catching raindrops in my mouth and singing softly. I love the rain, I love watching people respond to the rain, I love being the person at annoys people when it rains, I love being the person everyone wants to be while I dance through the puddles and twirl through the wind, I love being the faerie that puts a smile on the unsmiling, uptight, scared of the world old man...the frowning, angry, insulted by everyone woman...the sad child who can't understand why her parents won't let her jump in the puddles...
I can't understand why so many people are afraid of the rain; they let it run their life, hiding from it, glowering when the least little cloud obscures "their" sun...
- As I watched the bride standing there, staring into her grooms eyes, all I could think about was how soft her skin was, how she tasted, how she moaned when I slid my fingers inside her and flicked her clit with my tongue. Great way to pass a boring wedding, fantasize about the (now) forbidden fruit. She looked beautiful, all in white, but not near as breathtaking as when she was nude. Soft but undrooping breasts, ever so slightly rounded belly, long shapely legs, silky smooth skin. I remembered licking her until she screamed, while her (then) boyfriend slammed into me from behind, slapping my ass as hard as he could, ramming me face first into her sweet pussy over and over and over...
Flashes, flashes, nothing longer than a second, flash onto the overly strong vodka and sprite they gave me the first night. Flash onto seeing my (then) boyfriend kissing her, while her boyfriend kissed me hard, then leaned back and hit me as hard as he could. mmmmm...that was so intense...He has been the only man who was ever that rough with me. I almost wish I could get that from my current man, but that's not something you ask for...asking for such things always ruins the pleasure in getting them. So...I fantasize in private. Flash onto the slight awkwardness as everything wraps up, my boyfriend and I driving away, the frenzied sex with him that night, reliving the amazing first-time.
Flash onto the many times the bride has kissed me, long, sweet, gentle kisses, soft lips, soft tongues, soft hands, oh, so soft. Parking lots, strip clubs, couches, kitchens, driveways...mmmm...kisses. No more kisses...all given up for a ring.
It's always such a sad time when a girlfriend gets married, especially to a man who isn't confident enough in his sexuality to let his wife play with other girls. I can't imagine giving up that sweet, soft, gentle touch for a man. I can't imagine giving up the rough, intense, needy touch of a man for any woman. I can't understand how anyone could...but I suppose I'm not them, eh?
KISS
- Okay, so usually I'm not into movie stars at all. I mean, why look at something you can't have? But, today, I have discovered a definite weakness for Milla Jovovich. I've always been in love with The 5th Element, so when it popped into my head today, I mentioned it to a friend. Wow, did I pick the right friend!!! He instantly popped up with about 10 pics of Milla, in various states of undress. *drools and quivers* So, I had to share my favorites. Hope no one minds *winks* Sorry no deep and introspective post today, I'm sick as a dog, and can think of nothing more that curling up under my desk with a big teddy bear and not coming out until I feel human again, or 4pm this afternoon, whichever comes first. These pics are substituting as my teddy bear. *grins*
Enjoy!
Milla Jovovich
Milla Jovovich