10.17.2004
- Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. My new life. Tomorrow, I'm giving my notice at my job. I'm terrified to do this, especially without a new job to fall back on. Unfortunately, I will need to work at my old job until they find a replacement for me to train. So, it will be about a month before I'm really truly out of it, but still, just saying the words is terrifying. I can't imagine what kind of job I'll go to next. The odd hours are going to make it very difficult to find any job, much less one that pays what I need. I'd really like to find one closer to home, though, the 45 minute commute is getting harder and harder, especially when I am beginning it at midnight or after every night, only to get up at 6am to start it all over again. I'm so tired, sick and tired, tired of being sick, sick of being tired. I'm sick of never seeing my man, my friends, my family, sick of coming home in the dark, and leaving in the dark. I wish I could find a job I could do at home, something I could do on the computer or something, so I could do it whenever I wanted. Somehow, I think that is a fantasy land, though, one far far away from here. I know this is for the best, and I will be happier, but I can't help but be terrified at the prospect of not finding a job, especially since I can't start looking now, I can't have a back up plan.
Oh well. If you read this, and have a spare moment, please send me happy thoughts, or prayers, or whichever serve you best. I appreciate any help I can get.