1.26.2005
- It is very disconcerting to look at a man passing you in the hallway and remember that his penis curves to the left.
It is also very disconcerting to watch that man talking to someone you rather dislike and know that he has seen your eyes roll back into your head as he made you orgasm.
I wonder if he thinks of that when he sees me.
I wonder if he remembers how tight my pussy clenched in surprise, shock, enjoyment, when he hit me across the face while fucking me.
I wonder if he would have ever looked at quiet, shy little me if his girlfriend hadn't picked me.
I wonder if he remembers forcing me so far down on him that I gagged and threw up.
I wonder if he remembers.
I know he remembers me. I was walking around the library one day when I noticed him staring at me. I ignored him as long as I could, but when I went to leave, he stopped me. As soon as he asked if he knew me from somewhere I recognized him. I blushed and stammered. His girlfriend and I had continued our friendship after we stopped sleeping together, but I had never kept contact with him. Why would I? After a few minutes of hemming and hawing, I finally told him why I looked familiar. The light went on.
We spent the next hour or so catching up. Past the first moment of recognition, our previous sexcapades were not mentioned. To my surprise, I found him quite likeable, though not someone I would have picked to be intimate with on my own. We ran into each other occasionally after that, never speaking as past sexual partners, more as two people with mutual friends. We speak as acquaintances who drift in and out of contact.
I wonder if he ever thinks about doing it again. Not that He would want to, or let me, but does it cross his mind? His ex-girlfriend and I had talked about it, often. Does he?
I wonder what the afore mentioned disliked man would think if he knew? Would he be revolted at the perverted things we did? Would he pump us for stories? Would he try never to let that mental image cross his mind again? Would it creep in to distract him while he should be paying attention to other things? Would he laugh at me? Would he leer?
I wonder if he knows how much that first time is like a drug to me, how much it has affected my fantasies, how much that dark side of me longs to throw myself at his feet and beg for more, how glad I am that I have Him to stop me from giving in to my urges.
I wonder how many woman have let him do everything he craves to them. I know one didn't. That was where I came in. I wonder if I would have even given him a second look if she hadn't asked me to.